Integra in Training
by MithLuin
Summary: Integra learns what it means to fight vampires. Warnings for gore.
1. Prologue: Dissatisfaction

Integra in Training

_Prologue: Dissatisfaction_

"But why not?" Integra asked, perplexed.

"Ma'am, the best protection you can have is a firearm. You have many responsibilities, but if you are going to train yourself in self-defense, it should be at the firing range."

That did sound reasonable, she had to admit. But it still did not sit well with her.

"If I'm going to command these troops, I have to be able to go with them. And if I'm going to do that, I need to receive the same training they do," she insisted.

The commander just shook his head. "I have to advise against that, ma'am. To be brutally honest, you don't want to be getting into a situation where you need to know hand to hand combat. The best way to survive a knife fight is to avoid it. A gun, on the other hand – that's a trusty weapon. You can wield it from some distance. It's much safer."

"This conversation is not over," she warned him, then turned and stalked away. The nerve! Who was signing his paycheck? Who was giving the orders around here? But if there was one thing sixteen-year-old Integra knew, it was that respect and obedience had to be earned. It just seemed unfair that all her battles had to be uphill, and with her own allies!

She went into the library and curled up in the window seat to think. She found men so infuriating, but she could never get them to admit that they treated her the way they did because she was a young girl. There was always some excuse. "I know how to shoot a gun already," she growled. "I need to learn how to _fight._"

Maybe Walter would teach her. He was retired, so he did not go into the field on missions any more. But the stories her father used to tell about him suggested that he was quite the force to be reckoned with, in his prime. But for some reason she hesitated. Walter always indulged her whims. This was something she wanted to do on her own…but something she wanted some acknowledgement or recognition for. She wanted her men to look at her as someone who could do the very thing she was ordering them to do. But that was just it – they were _men_, and they would only see that in a man.

She hopped down from the window seat, and went to find her butler. She still left most of the paperwork to him, so she knew he'd be busy in the study. "Walter, how can I get people to see me as a man?" she asked abruptly. He turned to face her slowly, his work set aside, and eyed the teenage girl appraisingly.

"Why on earth would you want that, Miss Hellsing?"

"Because men don't respect girls! At first I thought it was because I was young, but now I think I'll never outgrow it."

"You are still young, Miss Hellsing."

"That may be, Walter, but I am the rightful heir of the Hellsing family, and if people don't start respecting my position, I'm going to have to start lopping heads off."

He raised an eyebrow at that. This was not the type of tantrum he had expected her to threaten.

"Men respect several things. One is confidence. Another is skill. You must first convince yourself that you are the worthy heir of the Hellsing family, and then all the others will fall in place."

She looked at him skeptically.

"But I might also add, Miss Hellsing, that if you want to address men on their terms, you will have to become accustomed to their world. The less you act out of place, the less they will see you as the odd person out in the room."

"I'll still be a woman."

"So is the queen, and yet you do not see anyone disrespecting her."

She smiled at him. "Thank you, Walter, that does help."

He saw the resolute look on her face, and worried about what she was up to this time.

* * *

_Author's Note: This is the same story it was before. I'm just breaking it up into chapters now, since it had natural breaks in it anyway. _

* * *


	2. First Attempt

Integra in Training

_First Attempt_

Integra hefted her father's sword, trying to get used to its weight. It was a slim weapon, but still made of silver-tipped steel. When she tried to swing it, it looked rather inelegant. She was alone in the courtyard, though, so there was no one to see her. She had determined that if the commander of Hellsing's troops would not teach her, she would have to teach herself. Then, when he was out of excuses, she could ask again to train with her troops. In the end, she would not allow him to refuse her.

She took a few more experimental swipes. But not yet. Now, she would only make a fool of herself. Walter had said that men respected skill, so she would just have to become skilled with a blade. She swung the sword again, trying not to let her feet be unbalanced in the process. This was harder than it looked!

A soft clapping sounded behind her, and she whirled around. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Watching you," Alucard said, as if it should be obvious.

"But it's the middle of the afternoon!"

He just shrugged nonchalantly. "I'll stay over here in the shade of the cloister walk."

She scowled at him. "I suppose there's no use in asking you to help me, then?"

"What are you doing, Master?"

She blew a stray strand of hair out of her face. "I'm trying to learn how to use this sword, so I can hunt vampires with my troops."

"Hunt vampires?" he asked, a slow eager smile spreading across his face. "I'd be happy to teach you all about that."

Now it was her turn to cock her head to the side and look at him speculatively. "How can you help me do that?"

"It may have escaped your notice, Master, but I am myself a vampire…."

He was taunting her again. How she hated it when he treated her like a little girl! "Shut your mouth, servant, or I'll order you out here in the sunlight to be my target!"

"As you wish," he murmured, and came to stand in front of her. "Now, if your opponent is a man, you want to strike for the joints, you'll do more damage there…"

"What are you doing!" she practically squeaked.

"Serving as a target," he answered, as if it were obvious. "You can't learn how to use a sword if you don't have anything to aim at."

"But…I don't …. Go on back in the shade. It's alright. I'll get a scarecrow or something to use later."

"A scarecrow won't bleed." He didn't budge.

"Why is it that no one ever listens to me?" she said in exasperation. Almost without thinking, she raised the sword and brought it down on his boot. As soon as the blade hit him, she froze in shock.

"No, not like that. You need to put some strength into it. See, that didn't even damage the leather."

"I –"

"You're holding the blade wrong. It's not a broadsword. Here –" He grabbed her wrist with his gloved hand and repositioned her hand for a better grip. "Now, hold the blade up. It's much easier to swing it downwards, and if you keep it up in front of you, you can use it defensively."

He took a step back and eyed her critically. Or at least she thought he did. It was hard to tell what his eyes were up to behind those sunglasses. "Balance is important, so watch your footwork. Keep your center of mass low and your feet apart. Otherwise, I could just tip you over." His smile suggested he'd be able to tip her over anyway. He nodded as she shifted her feet. "Good. Now slice my arm off."

She balked at this.

"Do you want to learn how to use a sword or not?"

"Yes!" she said, the familiar Hellsing determination settling on her face. She took a deep breath, raised the sword, and brought it down with a _whoosh._ Unfortunately, it missed his shoulder, hitting his arm closer to the elbow. And it hardly cut into him at all, just sticking with a nasty squelching noise. She wrinkled her face up and gave the sword a tug, trying to get it back out of his arm.

He just shook his head. "Who taught you to fight with a sword, Master?"

"No one!" she said in exasperation. "The captain will only allow me to train at the shooting range." She was distracted by his arm, trying to see what damage she had done to it. Steam was rising from the wound.

"Then I will be your new trainer," he said, bowing in front of her. "Excuse me for not removing the hat, but I really don't like sunlight very much."

"We can train in the evenings," she said, compromising. "After all, real vampire hunts happen at night."

He nodded his acceptance. "Today's lesson isn't over until the arm comes off."

"In that case, go stand under that tree," she ordered him, trying to hide her alarm. She wasn't worried about permanently damaging him. She'd seen him take bullets without harm, and who didn't know that a vampire's only real vulnerabilities were his head and heart? What worried her was his eagerness to help. He was up to something, and she knew she did not want to become indebted to her servant. That, and he was impossibly tall. How was she supposed to strike his shoulder with enough force to sever the arm?

He was waiting expectantly. She hid her unease, and sized him up. She raised her arm to try again. It was harder than she thought it would be to bring her sword down on someone who was looking at her, but she did it anyway. At least she hit the shoulder this time…but the sword just bounced off.

"Come, Master, let me see how much strength you have in those arms of yours," he said, almost encouragingly. His grin belied those words, though, and then he taunted her. "Of course, sometimes swords like this are too much for little girls."

That was it! She'd had enough patronizing for one day, and she didn't have to stand for it from him. She knew the angle to get to his shoulder now, so she brought the sword down swiftly, again and again, until she managed to hack the arm off by brute force.

The arm was on the ground. There was blood everywhere. She stood there panting. She did not drop the sword, but the only fact her mind would acknowledge was that Alucard was laughing. He seemed absurdly happy about the entire situation.

"Yes! _Exactly_ like that!"

"Integra!" Walter called. She spun around to see him standing at the entrance to the courtyard, a look of shock and concern on his face.

"I'm fine, Walter. Alucard was just helping me with some sword practice, but we're finished for today.

"Clean up," she ordered, not quite looking at her vampire and leaving the sword on a bench.

Walter looked far from pleased with that explanation, but merely said, "Your tea is ready."

"Thank you, Walter," she began composedly. "I'll take it in the drawing room after I – wash up." She faltered on the last words. What on earth had she just done?

She went into the nearest bathroom, and was shocked by how much blood was on her face and clothes. Her hair was disheveled and had flecks of red like spattered paint all through her scalp. She took her glasses off and rinsed them in the sink. She felt almost shaky, as if her arms were made of styrofoam – too light and stiff. She washed her face and hands thoroughly, scrubbing off the blood, and then debated what to do with the clothes. Everyone who did laundry at Hellsing knew how to get blood out of clothes. She'd leave it, for now.

Walter looked at her reproachfully when she returned to the drawing room. "That was not wise, Miss Hellsing," he said.

She sat down and reached for the teacup. "I said I would learn how to fight. If Alucard's the only one who will teach me, then so be it."

"I am not sure he is…appropriate for that task, ma'am."

She just glared at him. "He knows how to use a sword. I don't. He's my servant to command," she reminded her butler, "and there is nothing else he needs to be doing in the early evenings."

"You intend to make a habit of this, do you?" he asked, even more alarmed.

She nodded. "Yes. It's the perfect training for hunting vampires, don't you agree?"

"Miss Hellsing,"

"As the head of the Hellsing family, it is my DUTY to protect this country from threats against crown and church!" she shouted at him. "I WILL fulfill my duty, as sure as my name is Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing!"

"If Sir Hellsing were with us, I'm sure he would –"

"On my father's deathbed, he passed his position on to his heir! If anyone is to be called 'Sir Hellsing,' now, it's me. He relinquished that title at his death."

She sat back down, feeling like sobbing, but instead reached for the tea things.

She closed her eyes and then looked at Walter. "I can do this. I will. Whether any one else believes in me or not." She did not apologize for her outburst.

"I will always believe in you, Sir Hellsing," Walter said, and she started at hearing that name.

"I know. I've never doubted you," she said more softly. "Sometimes it just seems so daunting…as if fighting the vampires is the easy part."

"It's always been the most straightforward part," he admitted, smiling wryly. Integra's mouth twitched. He had a knack for making bad situations seem more manageable.

* * *

_Author's Note: This is the same story it was before. I'm just breaking it up into chapters now, since it had natural breaks in it anyway. _

* * *


	3. Interlude: Lesson

Integra in Training

_Interlude: Lesson_

The next evening, she carried the sword down to the courtyard with trepidation. This didn't seem like such a good idea after she'd had a day to think about it. After all, Alucard was hardly likely to take this seriously. And she did not want to be in his debt. Allowing him to be her teacher altered their relationship, no matter how much he persisted in addressing her as 'Master.' She preferred not to think about what his arm looked like, laying on the ground.

But he was waiting for her, as eager as ever. "Good evening, Master."

She nodded to him, hoping to demonstrate her readiness despite her misgivings.

He did not bother moving from where he was leaning against a column on the edge of the courtyard. His hat was gone and his long untamed hair fell across his face. Outside, the sun had not yet set, but it had dipped below the roof, leaving them in the shadows of early dusk.

He taught her how to fight. Nothing fancy, no complicated feints. Just a direct lesson in how to use a blade as a deadly weapon. His body served as her target, his arm blocking her thrusts when they were too weak or half-hearted. She saw first hand what the result of each blow would be; which ones drew blood or crunched bone. He claimed a sword could slice right through a person, but she was skeptical. Maybe with _him_ wielding it, but she would never be as strong as he was, not even if she practiced every day. Still, she could learn to deal death with this sword as surely as with her gun. She knew that now. It was exhausting work, though. And she was so inelegant!

She sat down on the edge of the fountain, catching her breath. He waited patiently, completely unphased by their earlier activities. "You've always called me Master," she said at length.

"That is what you are. I like to use true names."

"Alucard isn't your true name, is it?"

His smile did not falter. "It was the name that was given to me, by my master. It is mine."

"But you could call me…mistress," she said.

"What you are is my master. You may be mistress of this house, but that does not concern me."

"It's strange. You are the only one who does not treat me only as a woman. And you aren't even human."

"Appearances don't matter, Master." His voice was unusually sincere.

They continued the lesson until it was truly dark, and she had trouble seeing. He reminded her to clean her blade, then sent her to bed like a little girl; she tried to ignore his mocking. As she dragged herself up the stairs, she knew she would sleep well.

* * *

_Author's Note: This is the same story it was before. I'm just breaking it up into chapters now, since it had natural breaks in it anyway. _

* * *


	4. Consequences

Integra in Training

_Consequences  
_

The sword lessons became part of her routine. She still studied in the mornings. She had dismissed her tutor last year, assured she could learn what she needed to know from her family's library. And business usually filled her afternoons, even though Walter and the captain handled most things for her. Her evenings were her own, unless there was a report of an attack. Those were few and far between, thankfully, but she monitored news from abroad that suggested the vampire population was not waning. This lull was temporary. The Hellsing Organization could not afford to cease recruiting new members. So after the evening meal was cleared away, she trained, and ignored Walter's continued disapproval.

She grew comfortable with the idea that she was not harming Alucard. He never flinched nor expressed pain in any way. If anything, he seemed to enjoy the exercise entirely too much. Still, she took care never to target his neck or heart. Vampires could be killed; she'd learned that truth as a child. She also chose a sensible pants and blouse outfit that was comfortable and easy to clean for these lessons. She'd learned after that first afternoon that skirts were awkward with swords. She had no idea how the Scots had managed to fight in kilts for all those years.

But she knew tonight's lesson would be different as soon as she came downstairs dressed in her usual outfit. Alucard's eyes gleamed when he saw her, and he waited until she came nearer before leaning in close to her and _inhaling._

"Master, there is something different about you tonight," he murmured.

She narrowed her eyes at him, not stepping back. "Any dog could smell that," she informed him, not even blushing. At sixteen, she was no longer flustered by her monthly bleeding. He retreated slightly, heeding her unspoken command for personal space.

"Very well. You've learned how to focus that beautiful energy of yours so your blade can tear through a human opponent. Tonight I want to see if you have what it takes to kill a vampire."

His anticipation was almost tangible. His intentions could always be read in his voice, and they were usually unsettling. She had no idea he would react so strongly to just the smell of her blood. It was a little unnerving, but she did not hesitate. "How will I practice that?"

"First, you will skewer my heart, and then you will cut off my head. That is…if you can catch me."

Before she had a chance to protest those grisly instructions, he was off across the courtyard, drawing her into the chase. She took a deep breath, drew her sword, and tried to follow him. But tonight, he was far from a passive target. Every time she got close, he would dance out of her way. She was convinced he was toying with her, but she reminded herself that real vampires were not likely to be any more accommodating. So she grit her teeth and went after him with determination.

It really was hopeless, though. He could move faster than her eyes could follow him, when he wished, so even though he never left the courtyard, she could never get near him. He remained just out of reach. Her eyes adjusted as it got darker, but it was still harder and harder to keep track of him. When she was out of breath, she stopped, frustrated, and brushed the hair out of her face. "How do you make a vampire stand still?"

"Not usually with a sword," he murmured in her ear, now standing directly behind her. Quickly, she adjusted the grip on her sword, and stabbed behind her blindly. Then she turned to face him. She did manage to hit him, at least.

"Distraction works better than direct hunting when humans go up against monsters. But whatever made you think my heart was here?" he asked, gesturing to the gash in his stomach.

"That was as high as I could reach at that angle," she retorted. "But you didn't really want me to hit your heart, anyway."

"Those were your instructions, were they not?" he asked. "Why have you not carried them out yet?"

"But, I can't do that. Alucard, we're practicing. I don't _really_ want to kill a vampire right now."

"Foolish little girl. Do you think that weapon in your hand could ever kill me?" he gestured at her scornfully. "Put that blade through my heart right now."

Her eyes widened when she realized he was serious. Slowly, she brought her sword up, the blade already wet with his blood from her earlier thrust. She focused on his chest, not wanting to look at his face, even in the dark. She drew her arm back and put both her shoulders into it, stabbing directly at his chest before she lost her nerve. She sincerely hoped this would not damage him.

To her horror, he dropped to his knees as soon as the blade cut into him. "Alucard!" she shouted in alarm, bracing her hand against his chest to pull the blade out. His hand gripped her shoulder suddenly.

"Leave it. For a moment. My master." His voice sounded strange and rattling, not his usual smooth tones at all. She was beginning to get frightened now. Blood dribbled down from the corner of his mouth.

"Alucard, are you alright?" she asked him desperately.

"Ne…ver…better," he got out, before he slumped to the ground.

She panicked. She'd seen death before, and this looked suspiciously like it. She yanked the sword out, and ignored the spray of blood that followed it. She dropped to her knees and lifted his head from where it had lolled back. "Shit! Now what? Alucard!"

No response. The eye not covered by his hair did not move, and the grin seemed frozen on his face. She splayed her right hand against his chest, in a futile attempt to stop the blood from welling up from the wound. It was like holding a corpse. This could not be happening. She did not just do this.

She was going to start sobbing any minute if she wasn't careful. She looked at where she had stabbed his heart, and saw that the blood was still flowing over her fingers…but now it seemed to be flowing back _into_ the wound. Her heart beat faster as she avoided falling into final despair. Maybe...

She felt his head shift in the crook of her arm where she'd been supporting it. When she looked back at his face, his eyes were focused, and the grin was gone.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on the back of her neck, and now their faces were inches apart. "That's no way to fight vampires!" he hissed in her ear, angrily knocking her right hand away from his heart. As if to emphasize the point, she felt something wet and cold on her chin, and realized he was licking his blood off her face with his long tongue.

Now she was chilled with fear, but for a different reason. "Stop it, you monster!" she shouted at him, putting her hand on his throat to push away. She had no desire to have a vampire's fangs that close to her neck. "Don't touch me!"

His hand fell away, and she got up as if she'd been burned, reaching for her sword again. He took his time; he sat up, and gazed at her in the dark. "You seem to forget what I am, Master."

"You forget your place, Servant," she said bitterly, still holding the sword in front of her.

"It is here, at your feet," he said.

"Don't…don't scare me like that again. Why didn't you _warn_ me that you'd…you'd…just _die_ like that?"

"You stabbed my heart," he reminded her. "What did you expect to happen?"

"You told me to! You said it couldn't kill you!"

"And it didn't." He was being remarkably patient.

"I don't understand you at all! Why…why did you do this?"

"You have to learn. That is a good sword for vampire hunting," he said, gesturing to her hand and getting to his feet. "The steel was tempered with holy water and coated with pure silver. I can feel its potency every time you pierce my flesh. It has been so long…so long since I've had a chance to face a worthy opponent."

"But why me? I'm just learning how to do this."

He chuckled. "You are far more experienced than most novices. You drew blood before you'd swung your blade a dozen times. But I will fight whenever you allow it, Master. If you wish to train with me, so be it, but you can also send me out with your soldiers, and watch me annihilate the vampires of England. All for you."

She just stared at him. "Incorrigible warmonger. You will never leave this house! And these lessons are over."

She turned on her heel and let her hair whip around in his face. She walked away from him, feeling his eyes and presence with every step she took. Walter was right. These lessons had not been a wise idea. Now she knew what Alucard was getting out of them, and it disturbed her very much that she hadn't seen it in the previous weeks. It should have been obvious from the start – vampires suffer from bloodlust.

When she got to her room, she was shaking. She stripped off her clothes and threw them in the rubbish bin, and then turned the water in the bathroom on very hot. She needed to get rid of every drop of blood tonight, both the vampire's and her own. She washed her hair three times. The obvious conclusion was that she hadn't seen it earlier because he'd been hiding it from her. But another, darker, possibility existed – she had not seen it, because to her, that was natural. And that would mean that she shared his thirst for blood; a conclusion she could not accept.

She cried herself to sleep that night, wishing desperately that her father had lived until she was a grown woman. She would never have trusted the vampire with this training if her father had been alive, and that knowledge hurt.

* * *

_Author's Note: This is the same story it was before. I'm just breaking it up into chapters now, since it had natural breaks in it anyway. _

* * *


	5. Plan B

Integra in Training

_Plan B_

When she woke up, Integra formed a plan. This is what she should have done from the start. If she wanted to learn to fight as a human being, then she would need to be trained by men. Being trained by a monster would only lead to fighting like a monster. She wanted no part in that. Now that she knew what she was doing, it was relatively easy to set things in place. She knew she was not ready to practice combat maneuvers, but she should be able to learn the basics, at least. She'd watched them before, at least in part, and thought she knew what to expect.

The next morning, Integra forwent her studies, and instead reported to the captain, dressed in the training clothes issued to all Hellsing soldiers. She had her sword on her belt, as well as her gun. "I am reporting for training, sir. The new recruits will need to see that I am not above doing the work they do." She saluted him and awaited his response.

He looked at her for a long moment, considering. Then he smiled. "Well, you certainly are tenacious enough. I can't argue with that. We'll see how you manage today. But keep in mind that we recruit the best."

"I will try not to disappoint you." She was nervous, because if she embarrassed herself in front of her troops, it would take a very, very long time to live down. But as she saw it, working with the new recruits to do the basics would be a good place to start.

The physical training was exhausting, but she managed to keep up. No one seemed to expect her to run as fast as the young men, and she did not know whether to be exasperated or grateful for that point. She did not embarrass herself at the firing range, either. But then, she had been shooting pistols since she was a young girl. It had never occurred to her that such training was unusual for a young woman.

Hand-to-hand combat was not until after lunch, so she had a chance to review her plans. She ate in silence; everyone mostly kept to themselves. She could not flinch or show any hesitation. The goal was not to win, but to put up a decent showing. The problem was most men would balk at fighting a girl, so she should not force the issue; but beating them might wound their pride. Not that she was overly concerned about that; these men were all taller than her and in good shape. She hoped she had no delusions about her own abilities. As she stood up from the meal, she also reminded herself to try not to cut off anyone's arms.

Keeping all of this in mind, she volunteered to be the target more often than the aggressor when they started with tackling. She was very sore, but the men were mostly ignoring her, so she hoped her presence wasn't resented. By the end of this portion, she knew she would never be a wrestler. But after that came swordsmanship.

She was surprised to learn that they used wooden swords for practice duels, and wore protective gear at all times. These things made sense. The new recruits were well trained at taking people down and restraining them, but not terribly familiar with swords. She breathed a sigh of relief. She would not make a fool of herself here, at any rate. After her first match, they looked at her differently. She was not sure what she had done. True, she got in a few hits, but her opponent disarmed her. She learned to hold onto the sword better in the next match, and watched the others to learn how to block.

After her third duel, one of the men whistled at her. "Damn, if that's how you practice, I'd hate to see what you could do with a real sword." She looked back at the windows of the house when he said that, knowing that whatever they saw in her was all Alucard's fault.

"It's always important to take training seriously, if it's going to prepare you for the real thing," she said calmly in response.

Whatever the men said to each other in response to that led to some laughter, which she chose to ignore. Let them make fun of her! At least they respected her. In a way. Maybe. She grimaced. This fitting-in-with-men thing was harder than it looked, even though she'd grown up around men her whole life. The people she'd been closest to had been her father, and after his passing, Walter. You'd think she'd be used to it by now. But when they looked at _her_, they saw a girl, and there was nothing she could do about that.

They went to eat, and she returned to her house, knowing she'd have to be back early the next day to do it again. At least it had not been a disaster, she reflected, as she went to clean up before the evening meal.

Alucard intercepted her before she reached the dining room. "I missed you last night," he said in an odd tone of voice.

"I told you, the lessons are over," she said shortly, not looking at him.

"Did you find a new trainer, then?"

"I'm training with the new recruits."

"Do they work you harder than I did?"

"This is not about comparisons. It may have escaped your notice, but I'm human, and if I want to learn to fight, I will need to do so among other humans."

"But I can teach you to fight vampires," he said wistfully.

She shook her head vehemently. "No. You can only teach me to fight _like_ a vampire. When were you going to get around to blocking, hmm?"

He shrugged. "You picked it up easily enough when the time came."

So he had been watching her from the house. She turned to walk away. "I've had a long day. I'm hungry. Go away."

"As you wish. I'm hungry too," he called after her.

She flinched, and wished she hadn't. His laughter followed her down the hall, ruining her appetite. She needed to learn to stop letting him get to her.

* * *


	6. Alucard Triumphant

Integra in Training

_Alucard Triumphant_

Once she completed basic training, she was able to convince the captain to allow her to go on a raid in a purely supervisory position.

"I promise to stay out of your way and away from the action," she told him bluntly, knowing he had no real desire for her to tag along like this. "I have no intention of being the shortest-lived lord of Hellsing."

He laughed at that, a short bark she had not heard from him before. "And I have no intention of looking for a new boss, ma'am."

It was educational, to say the least. Ghouls were more disgusting in real life than she had imagined, and even her seasoned troops looked a bit grey after dealing with an infestation of them. It really was a bizarre line of work her family had gotten into, she supposed. The vampire had holed himself up in an abandoned building (an old grain mill, from the looks of it), and they were at a stand-off. The most expedient choice was to wait until dawn, so they did. They then dispatched the vampire and went home.

Alucard was waiting up for her. "How was your first hunt?" he asked.

"I didn't do any hunting. It was informative, though."

"How so?"

"If you ever create a ghoul, I think I'll have you sealed in the basement again," she mused, barely cutting off a yawn.

"Only amateurs do that," he informed her. "All my victims are here." He gestured towards his gut, not his heart.

He never apologized for what he was. He seemed rather proud of it actually, despite his loyalty to the mission of the Hellsing Organization. But now was not the time to cipher out that puzzle. "I'm exhausted; I'm going to sleep."

"Same here," he smirked, and melted through the floor.

She shook her head. Why did he insist on doing that?

The second time she went along did not go nearly as smoothly. The police had sent several teams in before they arrived, so the ghouls were armed. Her troops took significant injuries, and it was three nights before they were able to eliminate the vampire. She assisted with communications, but otherwise stayed out of it.

But she came home from the third mission in tears. They lost half their men, because unbeknownst to them, there were _two_ vampires. The entire operation was a disaster.

"Integra, what's wrong?" Walter asked when she came in. "Are you hurt?"

"No, but I feel like I should be."

"You reek of death," Alucard said from behind her, earning a glare from Walter.

"It's my fault those men are dead," she said shortly, and then fled upstairs to her room.

Walter shook his head. "She's only seventeen, Alucard. She doesn't understand yet."

"You and I were younger, and we understood."

The butler looked at him. "You were never young, Alucard. You were born old."

"Perhaps. I do not remember my life any more."

Walter sighed. "She'll get used to it. Just give her time. And you'll get used to staying here, eventually. Goodnight, Alucard. Or should I say good morning?"

Alucard nodded, but went upstairs anyway. He never knocked, but he also did not enter his master's room uninvited. He hesitated by the door.

"What do you want?" Integra called.

He stepped into the room. She was sitting on her bed, with her knees drawn up in front of her and a blanket around her shoulders. "How did you know I was there?" he asked her.

"You reek of death," she mimicked him, barely concealing a sob.

"Those men chose their deaths, Integra. They knew what this work means."

"It doesn't have to mean that! There are ways of killing those monsters without losing men. My father…"

"Your father lost many men."

She glared at him, but said nothing. She knew he knew her father better than she did, in some ways, since she only knew him in his later years. She resented the vampire for that at times.

"Is it important to you, to conserve your soldiers' lives? To keep the same troops instead of hiring new ones all the time?"

"Of course it is! That is part of my duty. Not only am I protecting England at the service of the queen and the church, but I'm also providing guidance for my men…." She took her glasses off and rubbed the back of her hand across her eyes in an attempt to banish her tears.

He got down on his knees. "I am your servant, Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. You command me as you command those men. I promise you, there is no battle I will shirk, and I will always emerge victorious as long as my foe is another monster…."

She looked at him. His eyes were completely honest; fervent.

"I can spare the lives of the men you command."

She knew what he was trying to get her to do. But his argument was too sincere, too true. He was offering her the chance to save lives, so a fiasco like this past night would not happen again. The temptation was too great.

"With my sword, I can cut down your enemies."

Suddenly, her head jerked up. "No. No sword."

He looked at her in surprise. "Why not?"

"You'll enjoy it too much. I'll have Walter find you a suitable gun. If the captain permits it, he may use you in future raids."

He smiled and bowed his head before her. "Yes, Master. I will not disappoint you!"

He did not seem the least bit put out to be denied a sword. She supposed he could kill without a weapon, since he was in fact a monster. But at least with a gun he'd be somewhat detached from the mayhem he would cause.

As he rose to his full height, she wondered if she had just made another serious mistake. "It is the captain's decision," she reminded him. "I will not watch you work." She saw the flicker of disappointment on his face, and knew she had guessed correctly. "Goodnight, Alucard. I'll give you your orders later."

He bowed low and left. The Hellsing Organization once more had a vampire at its disposal.

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_Author's Note:_ I realize Integra is a bit out of character. This story takes place in 1992, and is meant to show some of the transformation of her moving from the young girl who hid from her uncle in the ventilation ducts, to the calm and confident commander of Hellsing in her young 20s. She's not all grown up yet, and is going through an awkward stage, as most of us did in our teens (minus the pet vampire). I have no idea when she and Walter started using Alacard as their ace fighter, but it was likely before Integra's seventeenth birthday. Ah well; poetic license :D.

Thank you so much for reading!

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